Chopsticks and Table Manners in Vietnam
A few small habits at the table show respect, especially when you eat with elders.
You do not need to be perfect with chopsticks. A few small habits show respect: do not stand them in rice, serve elders first and use serving utensils for shared dishes. Ask for a fork or spoon whenever you need one.
What are the chopstick do and do not?
Keep the list short, and you will remember it.
- Do rest chopsticks across your bowl or on a rest between bites.
- Do pick up your bowl and bring it near your mouth when eating rice.
- Do not stand chopsticks upright in rice.
- Do not point with chopsticks or wave them while talking.
- Do not pass food from your chopsticks to someone else’s.
- Do not stab food. Use a spoon or ask for a fork.
Rice with upright chopsticks looks like incense at a shrine for the dead. That is why the rule matters to older relatives.
How do shared dishes work?
Dishes arrive in the middle and everyone takes a little onto their own small bowl. It is a relaxed way to eat, and it suits big families.
If serving chopsticks or spoons are on the table, use those. If not, turn your chopsticks around to take food, or ask staff for a serving spoon. Take a little at a time and let elders start.
Soup is eaten with a spoon. Noodles are usually eaten with chopsticks, and slurping is not rude.
How do you serve older people?
Invite them first. Say Mời, which means please, before you begin. Wait for the oldest person to start eating.
Pass bowls and dishes with two hands and place pieces on their bowl rather than reaching across them. If you travel with grandparents, put them at the end of the table with the best view, and keep the dishes they like close.
What about toddlers and fussy eaters?
Ask for a fork, a spoon and a small bowl at the start. Cut food into small pieces and place it on the child’s own plate. Children can use a gentler standard for chopsticks than you hold yourself to.
Our guide to vegetarian, vegan and allergy requests helps when a child has a food restriction.
What is the next step?
Read greetings, photos and respect for locals in Vietnam for manners beyond the table, and tipping in Vietnam for the end of the meal. Water and ice questions are answered in ice, tap water and bottled water in Vietnam. The food and daily travel hub lists the rest.
If you are travelling with grandparents or a host family, tell us your group, and we can help you plan a meal that suits everyone's pace and comfort.
Common questions
Can I use a fork or spoon instead of chopsticks?
Yes. Nobody expects a visitor to be perfect with chopsticks. Ask for a fork or spoon, or use the spoon provided for soup and rice. Staff are used to the request, and you will eat better and more calmly if you are comfortable.
Why should I not stand chopsticks in a bowl of rice?
Chopsticks upright in rice look like incense sticks placed at a shrine for someone who has died, so it is a sign of bad luck. Rest them across the bowl or on the chopstick rest instead. The same goes for passing food from one pair of chopsticks to another.
How do shared dishes work?
Dishes are placed in the middle and everyone takes some onto their own small bowl. If serving chopsticks or spoons are provided, use them. If not, hosts will turn their chopsticks around to take food. Take a little at a time, and wait for elders to start.
How do I offer food to an older person?
Invite them first with Mời, which means please, before you eat. Pass or serve food with two hands, place the best pieces on their bowl and wait for them to start. Do not reach across. It is a small gesture that families notice and appreciate.
Keep planning
If you are travelling with grandparents or a host family, tell us your group, and we can help you plan a meal that suits everyone's pace and comfort.